Today has been a great day and my mind has been running with thoughts. One of my friends said to me , “ I’m so impressed with your perseverant spirit! Please tell me how you do it?” This really caused me to think and reflect the highs and lows of my life.
I really thought, HOW have I endured this?…WHY do I manage to keep at it? , WHY not give up? A great theologian said, “ Don’t waste pain”! ( Okay, so this is what my husband said during his sermon last year…I can call him a great theologian if I want too :0) lol) But really, I made the decision NOT to waste the pain that I’ve been through. It would be sooo incredibly easy to let my past pain be the defining moments of my life. However, I don’t want to be known for my pain. Do you know people like that? You always hear the negative…the gossip about people. “ That’s XYZ, the one that got divorced”….”that’s ABC’s daughter, the one that committed suicide”, or “That’s Tanika, the one who lost three babies. “
So, why have I persevered? Because, I am so much more than the pain I have endured. Pain has a purpose…it’s JUST the transportation method to get me to the next phase in my life. My pain cannot be the final verdict and description of me. I’m going to fully develop the pain. Pain is like developing a picture in a dark room where there is a absence of light. Think about it. What if you never saw the finished product of your wedding photos? What if they were stopped in ”process” and you only saw the black, wet paper. That is the only memory that you’d have of your wedding to pass along for generations. This is exactly how I could be if I let me pain define me. I could stay here and become emotionally bitter and negative but I am not accustomed to darkness! I have to know that this is just a snapshot in time and not the end. This is process! When pain is fully developed, something of value comes from it. So, stay tuned, don’t define me by my moment of darkness, and keep watching for the final picture. ;0)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A woman we go to church with says "Lay it at the cross" or "Put it at the cross of Jesus", as her way of saying we should join our sufferings to those of Christ on the cross. I think about that a lot. My husband also shared something similar to that, from the words of our college chaplain. "Imagine that every suffering you have and see them as Jesus, looking down from the cross, and saying "Can you bear just this little bit for me?" If we looked at our sufferings that way, how would we react?" When I feel deeply broken by our losses and our pain, I reach out to Jesus and try to breathe and accept this pain, knowing that he suffered more for me, for the world... And that, if this is a way that I join my sufferings to his for the salvation of the world, then I will do it, every day. And will refuse to be "that woman who lost the babies...". Instead, I want to be that woman who let God's light shine in the darkest of days.
ReplyDeleteYou are a woman like that too.
Tanika- you ar eamazing and you give me strength to live each day with a smile....your faith is so great. sending you a hug!
ReplyDeleteI, too, think you are amazing and have such a great spirit of perseverance. Some people don't realize the strength it takes to persevere when things look bleak and You continue to show that God is right there with you every step of the way. You are truly an inspiration, and I'm thankful to have gotten to know you. :)
ReplyDelete