LET the countdown begin!!!!!

I have a confirmed surgery date for my Trans abdominal cerclage (TAC). The surgery date is September 24th at 1:30.

28 days to go!!!!

I am so excited!

Prized possessions

I have so many pics of thing that are priceless to us. Here are two items that we'll always hold dear to our hearts! (more to come)

Clay Molds of Destiny & Briauna ( look at the detail) These are PRICELESS. I love them and our dear friends B&A who gave them to us.

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This is the “homemade” card that I posted about earlier. It's STRAIGHT from the heart. We will always treasure this.

Thanks S’s, R’s,& S’s

WHEN????

So, just as I was ready to put Dr. H’s scheduler, Justin on the chopping block for not calling me back…I get an email from him tonight at 8pm. He’s been out of the office unexpectedly for 2 days…thus, no call! Okay, I will spare him until NOON tomorrow :0) ( ya see how patient I am, right)

So, when I know the details I will post again.

Back to work!!!!

The day has finally arrived! I am facing my fears and getting back to work. I had some thoughts today like, “ WHAT was I thinking”…” Am I really ready”, etc… Well, none of that matters because I will be at work tomorrow and there is no turning back now. I will make it a good day. I am thankful that I never have to do anything alone or in my own strength.

God, thank you for going before me and for enabling me to face the challenges of tomorrow.

Jesus travels thru the mail!!!!

:0)
I am so incredibly touched. Last week, I received a card in the mail from someone I have never met. Although, we don’t know each other personally, our husbands work together. This sweet lady ( and her circle of friends) knew about our story and had been praying for us even before we conceived Madison. She sent me the sweetest card….a simple card to encourage my faith and to remind me that God will guide us thru this time. I stood at my front door and cried a river just knowing how much God thinks about us and our situation. How touching it is to know that people give unselfishly of their time and of themselves. Many of you reading this have simply heard of our story and have prayed for us. Please know that we sincerely feel the effects of your prayers and are indeed humbled and appreciative.
On Saturday, we received another card from three couples that we do know:0) Again, I could not hold back the tears. We had a very elegant, home made card. I will post a picture of the card soon. I wish that I could tell you how much this card touched us . We have received NUMEROUS cards in the mail over the last month and we’ve read them all and placed them in Madison’s memory box. This card however, was very unique. It was not a sympathy card but rather a card to inspire us to keep doing what we love to do …and that is to love each other. Thru the tears, I was able to smile and reflect on the love that Chris and I share, the love we have for our family and friends, and the love that God shows to us…even thru the mail.

Can I challenge you? Can you take $ .44 and brighten someone’s day or send it in an e-mail/ e-card. Just send a card to an old friend, a relative…somebody..even if its someone that you don’t know. Just tell them that you love them, appreciate them, or whatever it may be to give them hope.

I sent out several cards over the weekend. I can honestly say that it feels equally overwhelming to give love as to receive it. Our precious Spiritual Godfather, “Pop Davis” says, “ Love is what it DOES” If you love someone, don’t just say it…do something to show it!

Love makes the journey of life worth living.

I LOVE Dr. H!!!

My phone consult went great today! Dr. H. is very thorough, so the list of questions that we had were answered during his overview. Although he has copies of my medical records, he wanted to hear about our losses. I started, “ my first Miscarriage”….he immediately stopped me and said “ Mrs. Dillard, we typically classify miscarriage as a 1st trimester loss, which usually happens because of genetic abnormalities or unknown reasons” . What you have experienced should not be minimized a “just” a miscarriage. You’ve had three 2nd trimester losses…you’ve held three babies…” So, I proceeded with the story of our three 2nd trimester losses.

Dr. H. asked the standard medical history. I confirmed that I had no medical issues. His next statement made me smile, “ Mrs. Dillard, I need for you and your husband to start thinking and believing that you can have ALL of the children that you want and that you will have normal full-term pregnancies” ;0)

He proceeded to explain the malfunctioning of my cervix ( as I have never heard it explained before) and how things should happen in a normal cervix. Finally, he explained the surgical process. There will be a band placed at the top of the cervix to prevent it from opening. He explained that this method is basically 100% effective because there is no way the cervix can open bigger than the band around it.

The scheduler works M_TH so I will have to find out on Monday when the surgery will be. Let the countdown begin! I will not be able to drive for 7-10 days post-op but should be able to do other activities in no time.

Dr. H. ended the conversation by restating his initial statement , “I need for you and your husband to start thinking and believing that you can have ALL of the children that you want and that you will have normal full-term pregnancies”…However, there is just one thing that your husband has to do for me” ( what’s that, I asked) his reply, “ get you pregnant”. Dr. H, don’t worry, he’ll be more than happy too…we’ll see you in September”!

He heals me...

I am glad that I took the time this week to challenge myself to get out of the house. The change of scenery was good for me. I really didn’t do anything spectacular but in doing “something” I knew that I was doing the right thing. This week, I was reminded of the simple things in life. My 6 year old niece had me in tears on Tuesday. She heard “her song” , pulled out her guitar and began to sing “ He Heals Me” by India Arie. The room grew quiet and all eyes were on her. She picked up her guitar, sang these words, and looked directly at me….
He heals me \He knows the real me\ And he accepts me, he never hurts me\ He heals me\ He knows the real me \And he accepts me, he never hurts me\ He heals me



You know I cried, right? It was such a moment for me just to hear those words. Amazingly, God can speak thru anything and anyone He chooses. I can’t say for sure who India was referring to when she wrote this song. All I know is that I felt like God was starting the process of healing me. I am so thankful that HE knows the real me. I don’t have to pretend with Him.

Music is such a part of my life. Can you imagine life without it???? I shared with Chris earlier this week that no matter how much I say “I don’t understand God”… “ I don’t want to go back to church right now” …blah…blah…blah…. The funny thing is…He is STILL all I sing about. Standing in the kitchen I found myself singing.. “ I Never Lost my Praise”

I never lost my hope, \I never lost my joy\ I never lost my faith\ But most of all, I never lost my praise




…and the other song is “ Hope Now” . I’ve been singing the chorus…because...well, that is all that I know! :0)
Everything rides on hope now\ Everything rides on faith somehow When the world has broken me down Your love sets me free



Thank God for the wonderful gift of music for truly, …it heals me!!
( I added these videos with the hope that these songs would encourage you, just as they have encouraged me…now, go listen to ‘em :0) )